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Lust vs Love

Updated: Jan 12, 2021

When it comes to emotions, at times there can be some confusion. For many people, understanding intense feelings can prove to be a difficult task, and recognizing their origin can be misleading.

Love can be mistaken for many things. For some, codependency or a sense of security, can seem like true love. For others, strong lustful attraction can feel a lot like it too. There is a vast difference between those things and love though, and it's important to recognize that difference. Authentic love is something powerful, and unparalleled when truly experienced.

"Lust shouts, love whispers, only the heart knows the difference" - Jan Hurst-Nicholson

Because sexual attraction plays such a vital role in strongly connecting us to another, it is easy to mistake that heightened sexual/hormonal response for actual love.

Now, I don't know about you guys, but it has definitely happened to me a few times that all I want to do is scream "I love you" when very attracted to a man and connecting powerfully with him in bed! In those moments I actually can temporarily feel like I love him, and yes, those words have flown straight out of my mouth on occasion, and theirs!

Hey, anything goes when you're in the heat of the moment, and honestly in my experience my sexual partners enjoyed it contributing to the passionate moment with some loving verbal exchanges of their own.

It's clearly understood on both ends however, that it is all part of maximizing the sexual pleasure and connection at that time. When we are really turned on and stimulated, we can say, do and feel just about anything right? But that's not actual love!

When you are sleeping with someone regularly and feeling really connected to them sexually, it can not only falsely make you think you carry deeper emotions than truly exist, but can also blind you from seeing certain "red flags" that indicate a less than ideal match in many of the essential ways required for true long-term compatibility.

It is all too easy to overlook the fundamentals when we are completely consumed reveling in the attraction! Lust and love are not the same thing. Being lustful of someone can happen instantaneously, from the moment you lay eyes on them or connect with them physically.

Truly falling in love with someone takes time. It's not just about heated sexual chemistry anymore, and the closeness you feel to that person because of it. Love is far more profound.

It takes time to learn and observe someone in all areas of life. To see how they think, what they believe, how they live and how they behave. How they handle themselves in every given situation, what truly inspires and fulfills them, and all they undeniably stand for above all else.

To learn who they are at their core and all that has shaped them to be that very person standing in front of you. To know their every mole, beauty mark and scar. To have every endearing facial expression, hilarious impersonation and contagious laugh, burned into your memory.

To see every weakness and strength they have and see how they express their every thought and emotion. To reach complete comfort with them and profoundly connect sexually, emotionally and soulfully to them.

It just takes time to know without a shadow of a doubt that everything you have witnessed about this person is exactly your ideal package, mind, body and soul!

Despite all flaws they may have, who they are deep down leaves you in awe every time without fail. Now that, that’s love. Once you've learned and seen it all and just absolutely, unequivocally bond to their soul.

Love and lust should never be mistaken one for the other. They could not be more different. Lust can be had with many, but real love, well that's a rare beauty that can only develop over time. Something we definitely all deserve to experience at least once!

When you get to know everything about someone and they literally just blow your mind in every way possible, you will know. You will finally know what true love really is, and that you are experiencing a depth of emotion incomparable to any other.

You will know with every ounce of your being, that you love this person more than you have ever loved anyone.

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