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Tragedy or Clarity?

Updated: Jan 17, 2021

Hardship is something every human experiences. Tragedy comes in many forms and presents many times throughout our lives, but why is it that we need to experience such moments in the first place?


The reason behind everything we live as humans is for a greater purpose. With each consecutive experience lived, comes wisdom. When we consciously pay attention to all of the things we are living, it paints a pretty clear picture of the most important lessons we need to be learning to grow and evolve our souls. Our journeys here are all so individual, and so too are the life lessons experienced and growth acquired. So what is tragedy really about for any of us?


"You are exactly where you need to be, just breathe" - Unknown

We often have the tendency of getting completely absorbed in the details of devastating events we experience in life. It is so easy when living something tragic to just get lost in how emotionally depleted we feel, and dwell on those feelings for much longer than is healthy to. Every time negative things happen to me, I stop and breathe. I sit and analyze "why" it is happening and what it means for me moving forward now that it has.


We all experience tragedy; disheartening events or situations throughout our lifetime that mark us deeply emotionally. One's that devastate us, teach us, and fundamentally change our perspective and direction. I will always stand by my mindset that there is intent behind everything in life.


Every single thing that we experience, uplifting or depleting, is purposeful and with reason. It does not make sense that we would live so many of these disheartening moments in life if it were not the case. Without purpose why would anything happen at all? Why do we live anything we live?



Whether you are currently living or have ever lived through tragic experiences such as the death of loved ones, emotionally depleting relationships, self-esteem/insecurity issues, traumatic sexual/ physical/ verbal abuse, financial destitution, chronic illnesses of any kind etc... you know what it is to feel like all your vital energy has been sucked out and your soul left empty.


No matter how many issues you may face, leaving you wondering if you will ever come out on the other side, you will. It helps speed up the process when we understand why it is negative things are happening in the first place.


There are heart-breaking things that occur that are out of our control, like death for example, but many others that we may not realize we contribute in perpetuating. In many cases, when repeatedly living negative situations that don't foster our soul, we are often the main culprit behind it. There are things we are not learning!



It requires a depth of insight to look within and ask ourselves how it is we contributed to getting ourselves here. What role we play in how we think, the decisions we make and how we pattern our lives. We must recognize we have our soul's journey to see out, in the body of this human we know ourselves as. We have a path to follow, yet can all too often get derailed.


In my opinion, the more derailed we are and feel in our lives, the further away from our path we are. Through many choices of our own, we fell off our path somewhere. This happens many times throughout our life. This usually happens when we allow ourselves to live our lives in a way that is not entirely conducive to our soul's deepest desires.


When demoralizing situations strike seemingly all too often, it is an indication we really need to stop and think. We need to do some major self-reflection, change perspectives we have, and patterns we've allowed ourselves to continually perpetuate. Many done so automatically and subconsciously based on our own personal issues and level of conditioning from our environment.


The power of the mind is incredible and if we'd allow ourselves to really delve deep in there, we'd realize how many unhealthy conditioned mindsets we've adopted and allowed to exist within us, controlling our thoughts, behavior and choices in life. Many that lead us right back to the same dark places we continually find ourselves in. Re-patterning is the most difficult part of our growth and the most essential part in realizing our true potential.

In my own life, I have lived almost all the hardships I listed above, with guaranteeably more challenging experiences to come. We are always continuously changing and evolving. Each of my traumas I started off not handling as well as the ones that then followed!


Inner strength develops when we overcome hardship and grasp the true meaning behind what happens to us. We never stop needing to learn and grow, and each discouraging set-back we live is just ensuring we learn vital lessons and continually move forward as we always should.



This is where actually paying attention and learning from each lesson becomes crucially important. We don't live anything for no reason. There is something to learn and something to take away from each experience that will make us a stronger, more equipped person than we were before for all future challenges ahead. A different more evolved version of ourselves each and every time.


When we fail to learn what we are supposed to is when similar situations happen again and again! You must look deeper if this is happening to you. There is something you are missing. We often justify or make excuses to ourselves or others as to why those things are constantly happening. Often blaming outside sources for why we continuously find ourselves back in a dark place.


I remember when I was chronically ill, it's like I couldn't see the light. It came on the heels of many years of financial problems, on and off health issues, depleting relationships, family issues and loss, two traumatic "almost" sexual assaults, and times of much loneliness and lack of self-fulfillment. I hit my rock bottom to say the least, and had ample time to lie there deathly sick in a bed without an ounce of energy left, to reflect on ALL of it!


Photo of me during my illness, with empty eyes and a heavy heart. Lost in self-reflection, yet unknown to me, on my way through the most profound healing and spiritual journey I could have ever imagined.

It was time to make some serious changes ahead. Of course after many sleepless nights, much introspection and unrelenting dedication, I came out on the other side! As do we all when we truly dig deep and learn ourselves inside and out. Having an acceptance of who we are and the decisions we make as we continuously learn ourselves, and respecting the process of mistakes made along the way, is essential.


No matter what ever happens, we are responsible for managing how we cope with these life-changing experiences and how much we allow ourselves to get consumed by them. We find ourselves where we are because it is meant to be that way.


We all have a very individual journey here, and never can your life's experiences be compared to another's. Even if two people live similar experiences, it is almost always for completely different reasons.



We are unique. No two people are alike and no two journeys should look the same. We are intended to live all the good and bad things we do, and there is none of us out there that is an exception to that. I always say, for every amazing experience and utter happiness we are blessed to experience in this life, there must be some negative ones somewhere. If only to make us TRULY appreciate the beautiful ones when they happen!


Don't be hard on yourself if you feel low, discouraged or behind. Even if it looks like there's no light at the end of your tunnel, there is. You just can't see it yet. You are exactly where you need to be.. yes, even if it's in the deepest, darkest shit hole! You will overcome whatever is holding you back from your ultimate happiness as only you can. I always tell myself that it can only be up from here!



Look inside yourself, learn yourself and make sure the moves you make today are different than yesterday's. Changing even one thing, just one, will change your entire life. It is the first sign of growth, of moving forward. There is only one direction in life and it's ahead.


If you are always busy looking back, dwelling, blaming, distracting... you will stay stagnant. Negative energy of any kind is directly linked to stagnation. You are the only one that can change it. Much of what I am saying and my current perspective on life, took me years of learning the hard way to get to. It's a process!


Sending positive healing vibrations to everyone going through a hard time right now, and especially sending love to one of the most beautiful women I know.


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